sometimes ...

there's so much that's been happening , I really wonder what should I do at times . to believe what I'm supposed to believe or lie to myself that everything's going to be alright ? when in fact it's not going to be alright . thinking how much I'll last with you , planning our future together , our holidays together ... but sometimes it makes me wonder , why does it end up to be this way ? I'm sick of tired that I'm trying so hard , I'm worried he'll just run back to her one day , waiting and hoping for that day to never some seriously I'll pray hard .

iloveyoudear icch <3 you know I've always do ;) now & forever ;)

the past is past , but ...

sometimes i just wonder .

its been 2months plus we've been thru this journey . sometimes i feel that i don't know you as well as how i felt knowing the first isaacchen . its like the guy i've once love and have feelings for is still there but i dont know alot about you. you always tell me i dont know alot about you , i do not know the truth about alot of stories behind your past . its because sometimes you dont make the effort to tell me the truth . eventho i know the truth hurts alots , but what can i do ? i love you and i have to accept your past . ive never said i didnt accept your past , i know its hard to take all in at once . but i really rather you tell me everything in one go , so that i can kill the pain all in one shot , better than you telling me things bit by bit and day by day . you're my everything and i couldnt bare to lose you once more . it hurts so much just to see you walk away , but i guess you dont know how that feels . because youre not me , i may look strong on the outside . but inside deep down im not , im never strong . but all i could do is to stay strong for you , because i promised you that i will and i must change for the better . you've given me alot in this 2months , memories , experience in a relationship that i never been thru before .

thinking how we went thru this whole process of every stage only we could be together , its really funny how it goes . im happy and glad i knew you , ive never regretted since the day ive met you , you gave me everything i could wish for , in a life time partner . i just hope you're real , and not putting up a show in front of me . i love just the way you are , you cant be describe by words . because no words could describe you . 

thanks for everything dear , ily .

you're my everything hubbyboy . woaini .

9more days.

its only 9 more days .

is this the last 9days of memories youre going to give me ? arguing for small matters . showing faces to me when i already apologize & just wanted you to care . but all you will do is just continue being angry . at rubbish nonsense matter . im so sick& tired like seriously . crying everyday and almost every night . getting nightmares so often , the ending and the point of the dream always end up being the same . have you ever felt being in my shoes ? thinking of whats going to happen ? im worried day& night but i guess youre just not as i am .
all i could say is im just speechless .

heartbroken as always </3

i cant take it x more .

everything started when the old one left me and i was alone in darkness & under depression alot at that moment . he came to see me everyday and acc me everyday for that 4working days of mine in 1U , when i was working maxis road show . its always the sweetest thing ever in the beginning of everything , but when it comes to the stage that everyday youll just keep argueing , thats not going to change anything . im the one always in tears and pain . yes i know he has his hurt part too , but im a girl think of my feeling too please ? 5lines cuts because of you . sometimes i really just x mean what i say but you take it in too fast and seriously . iloveyou as much as anything in this world , i would give the world to you if i actually could , but i cant . i could only stay by your side , and love you day by day . my eyes are swollen once again , due to tears rolling down . all you could do is just play your iphone ? did you ever thought of talking back to me ? all you can say is , ill help you get back in taylors then ill leave ? whats all this sentence suppose to mean ? im so frustrated . it hurts to know that i dont have to quality and quantity to be with you , because your mpm judges people like alot . i know im x good enough for you , im so downgraded unlike you born with a silver spoon , we're born in 2 different worlds . but you always told me youll never judge me or leave me ? then whats this now ? you just x know how stressed up am i when im w your family , thinking about everyday are you going to leave me or tell me you x have feelings for me anymore and you want to break up with me . im worrying day by day every minute and seconds of my life . its just you x know about it .

all i could say if i could love you for eternity i would , ChenChunHau :)

new hair style : )

the start of something new ♥

im glad i knew you ,

ive never regretted being with you ,

you've changed me & changed my life .

ive chopped my hair recently , cause i was so bored w long hair already . theres so much happening nowadays w my life & of course him . surprised to see cheryltehshuying with one side of her hair flipped back ? its because of someone . that special someone that could made me change into someone that ive never imagine i would become . i love him till bites . his my boy & always will be . : ) more updates about me & him to come in the next post .

iloveyou derricklimtactwoon ♥

evacuate the dance floor ♥

birthday night ♥

my 19th bday bash ,

mistclub bangsar : )

last picture taken : )

so my bday eve its a friday night , : ) and where else would i be in mistclub . my planned was to be in Neway OneUtama singk but alot people x want so i dont have a choice lo . went to mist . everyone was there was abit pekchik with the paying money part after that okay lo : ) so yeah all i could say was , i was dropped dead that night , thanks to all my friends that helped me that night , much appreciated k : ) loves ♥


let the pics talk : )

ivanchan korkor ♥

joeyhow , darling ♥

matthewerza brother : )

MR.low : )

issacchen : )

HAN , my didi : )

♥

chrishwang ♥

bestie sengloh ♥

ma bestgirlfriend ♥

2bestgurlfriend ♥

the kaki's ♥

gurlfriend V.I.P ♥

mangjin ♥

didi , andrewlim ♥

brother CJ ♥

mylaopo ♥♥

partyhardcore : )

CheeJuenLin bdayboy ♥ 3rdseptember2011

memorable day : )

the birthday boy , CJ :) the day they picked me up from my place around x know what time i myself couldnt rmb and the day MR.derricklimtactwoon came back from aussie trip for 4 or 5 days . finally we all could see his face , excited kan ? : p haha . then total all of us is , KianGuan`CJ`Jeremy&his wife`SinChan`Derrick & of course me : ) we went to WIP in bangsar to have dinner . the western food there was awesome : ) i ordered carbonara bt ending up guan& derrick finished it : p cause they were hungry i supposed ? then me & derrick ordered the same drink some watermelon shit w alcohol , which tasted like shit , couldnt even drink more of it . haha , then later on we went back to CJ's place for drinking session : ) everyone K.O-ed there except for me , cause i didnt drink HAHA aweseme kan ?

anyways here all for now .

let the pictures do the talking : )

MR.derricklimtactwoon , melbourne boy : p