am suffocating .

so recently I've got a job , at midvalley the gardens , working in nokia shop :) retail outlet .. been very tired lately due to my shifts and all , and then few days back I've got a new girl in the family once more , her name is LV :) pure cuteness . adorable much :) haha , anyways as usual argue w the boyf almost every single day for x know some crap reason . :( this is how it should be I supposed :(

working life ..

2nd day of work .. not that easy but not that hard as well .. my life is like living in misery everyday .. and every night , thinking that when things were fine but once I and him are home we start all over again , I'm bored of it not only you .. really I didn't do anything by accident I'm rushing to wash up and everything my phone is in my pocket not I dont wanna take it out and all .. couldn't you just be more understanding alittle sometimes really .. you bring your phone to toilet tell me you wanna play game and all fine , I didn't do anything that's the thing we just had a talked about trusting me , I guess that would never happen because after being w you eventho I changed but in your eyes I'm still the old me that's why you never trust me .. I'm just heart broken when I could do so but you can't ...

suffering in hell.

im tired , sick and tired of all te shits no joke ... feel fuckedup as much as anything , always a fucking small mistake will take you forever to calm down and forgive me .. and chill down , it's a small matter , nonsense matter need to be so piss like what you are now ? really seriously ? need to be this way ? look at your self la ... really .. I'm the one always okay forgive you easily , then me ? who's going I forgive me , GHOST ah? speechless la sometimes , fucking hurt you know you talk to me the tuning as if I'm like some fuckedup stranger to you ? wth? tears are rolling down inside my heart ... it's pain , soon to be more hurt and pain ... then broken I supposed ...

wondering , sighs ..

currently stoning in INC cyber cafe


wondering , whys my boyf angry at me when i did nothing wrong .. went for a smoke outside .. i knew i took too long when i was about to text him , saying am gonna smoke 2sticks he was already at the door ,guessing his thinking something else , maybe his thinking what am doing at that time ... sigh guys when their playing game in CC is the worst time to actually try and comfort him more , so i guess its x point also . i didnt even do anything wrong , asking him whats wrong or whats his problem or is he angry , he will tell me nothing and then x bother about me already ... so x point ba im just trying to fix thing but but but

he just WOULDNT CARE less about me !

sick of it . 

it hurts.

thinking of what happen today , couldn't be much less painful . my brain couldn't think what's going to happen sooner or later but I just hope and pray that it wouldn't , you don't know how worried I am to lose to her ? you just think you sweet talk me and tell me that everything's going to be alright and I'll be fine ? it's not going to happen , it's not how it works my dear ... I really just hope she would she vanish and wish she had never existed .

sometimes ...

there's so much that's been happening , I really wonder what should I do at times . to believe what I'm supposed to believe or lie to myself that everything's going to be alright ? when in fact it's not going to be alright . thinking how much I'll last with you , planning our future together , our holidays together ... but sometimes it makes me wonder , why does it end up to be this way ? I'm sick of tired that I'm trying so hard , I'm worried he'll just run back to her one day , waiting and hoping for that day to never some seriously I'll pray hard .

iloveyoudear icch <3 you know I've always do ;) now & forever ;)

the past is past , but ...

sometimes i just wonder .

its been 2months plus we've been thru this journey . sometimes i feel that i don't know you as well as how i felt knowing the first isaacchen . its like the guy i've once love and have feelings for is still there but i dont know alot about you. you always tell me i dont know alot about you , i do not know the truth about alot of stories behind your past . its because sometimes you dont make the effort to tell me the truth . eventho i know the truth hurts alots , but what can i do ? i love you and i have to accept your past . ive never said i didnt accept your past , i know its hard to take all in at once . but i really rather you tell me everything in one go , so that i can kill the pain all in one shot , better than you telling me things bit by bit and day by day . you're my everything and i couldnt bare to lose you once more . it hurts so much just to see you walk away , but i guess you dont know how that feels . because youre not me , i may look strong on the outside . but inside deep down im not , im never strong . but all i could do is to stay strong for you , because i promised you that i will and i must change for the better . you've given me alot in this 2months , memories , experience in a relationship that i never been thru before .

thinking how we went thru this whole process of every stage only we could be together , its really funny how it goes . im happy and glad i knew you , ive never regretted since the day ive met you , you gave me everything i could wish for , in a life time partner . i just hope you're real , and not putting up a show in front of me . i love just the way you are , you cant be describe by words . because no words could describe you . 

thanks for everything dear , ily .

you're my everything hubbyboy . woaini .

9more days.

its only 9 more days .

is this the last 9days of memories youre going to give me ? arguing for small matters . showing faces to me when i already apologize & just wanted you to care . but all you will do is just continue being angry . at rubbish nonsense matter . im so sick& tired like seriously . crying everyday and almost every night . getting nightmares so often , the ending and the point of the dream always end up being the same . have you ever felt being in my shoes ? thinking of whats going to happen ? im worried day& night but i guess youre just not as i am .
all i could say is im just speechless .

heartbroken as always </3

i cant take it x more .

everything started when the old one left me and i was alone in darkness & under depression alot at that moment . he came to see me everyday and acc me everyday for that 4working days of mine in 1U , when i was working maxis road show . its always the sweetest thing ever in the beginning of everything , but when it comes to the stage that everyday youll just keep argueing , thats not going to change anything . im the one always in tears and pain . yes i know he has his hurt part too , but im a girl think of my feeling too please ? 5lines cuts because of you . sometimes i really just x mean what i say but you take it in too fast and seriously . iloveyou as much as anything in this world , i would give the world to you if i actually could , but i cant . i could only stay by your side , and love you day by day . my eyes are swollen once again , due to tears rolling down . all you could do is just play your iphone ? did you ever thought of talking back to me ? all you can say is , ill help you get back in taylors then ill leave ? whats all this sentence suppose to mean ? im so frustrated . it hurts to know that i dont have to quality and quantity to be with you , because your mpm judges people like alot . i know im x good enough for you , im so downgraded unlike you born with a silver spoon , we're born in 2 different worlds . but you always told me youll never judge me or leave me ? then whats this now ? you just x know how stressed up am i when im w your family , thinking about everyday are you going to leave me or tell me you x have feelings for me anymore and you want to break up with me . im worrying day by day every minute and seconds of my life . its just you x know about it .

all i could say if i could love you for eternity i would , ChenChunHau :)

new hair style : )

the start of something new ♥

im glad i knew you ,

ive never regretted being with you ,

you've changed me & changed my life .

ive chopped my hair recently , cause i was so bored w long hair already . theres so much happening nowadays w my life & of course him . surprised to see cheryltehshuying with one side of her hair flipped back ? its because of someone . that special someone that could made me change into someone that ive never imagine i would become . i love him till bites . his my boy & always will be . : ) more updates about me & him to come in the next post .

iloveyou derricklimtactwoon ♥

evacuate the dance floor ♥

birthday night ♥

my 19th bday bash ,

mistclub bangsar : )

last picture taken : )

so my bday eve its a friday night , : ) and where else would i be in mistclub . my planned was to be in Neway OneUtama singk but alot people x want so i dont have a choice lo . went to mist . everyone was there was abit pekchik with the paying money part after that okay lo : ) so yeah all i could say was , i was dropped dead that night , thanks to all my friends that helped me that night , much appreciated k : ) loves ♥


let the pics talk : )

ivanchan korkor ♥

joeyhow , darling ♥

matthewerza brother : )

MR.low : )

issacchen : )

HAN , my didi : )

♥

chrishwang ♥

bestie sengloh ♥

ma bestgirlfriend ♥

2bestgurlfriend ♥

the kaki's ♥

gurlfriend V.I.P ♥

mangjin ♥

didi , andrewlim ♥

brother CJ ♥

mylaopo ♥♥

partyhardcore : )

CheeJuenLin bdayboy ♥ 3rdseptember2011

memorable day : )

the birthday boy , CJ :) the day they picked me up from my place around x know what time i myself couldnt rmb and the day MR.derricklimtactwoon came back from aussie trip for 4 or 5 days . finally we all could see his face , excited kan ? : p haha . then total all of us is , KianGuan`CJ`Jeremy&his wife`SinChan`Derrick & of course me : ) we went to WIP in bangsar to have dinner . the western food there was awesome : ) i ordered carbonara bt ending up guan& derrick finished it : p cause they were hungry i supposed ? then me & derrick ordered the same drink some watermelon shit w alcohol , which tasted like shit , couldnt even drink more of it . haha , then later on we went back to CJ's place for drinking session : ) everyone K.O-ed there except for me , cause i didnt drink HAHA aweseme kan ?

anyways here all for now .

let the pictures do the talking : )

MR.derricklimtactwoon , melbourne boy : p

ammissingyou badly ♥

`missing those moment i have with you .

babyboyy , wo hen xiang ni ♥

babyboo, missing you makes my heart feels so empty cause youre x by my side . loving you is hard enough , having to think about you hardly can get off my mind , needing you is like 24 hour scrolling thru my brain ,missing you just makes me think of you more& more , day by day . i wonder what will i do , without you . ive never judge you by your looks , youre a x bad guy , : ) looks decent in a way , amazing fella : ) thats what i love most about you . my head is just spinning all about you ♥

#nowlistening twobetterthanone

youre making me miss you more& more day by day ♥

some shots :)

`` afew shots from the photoshooting :)

photoshoot , finally !

``photoshoot w/jayne scully @taylors lakeside campus : )

every photo tells a story .

CherylTehShuYing. :)

here my story begins , hmm woke up in the morning supposed to follow my daddy to college bt i forgot to let him know am suppose to go college for shooting . so nvm bbm-ed jayne and asked her to pick me up , she said okay :) so we both get ready and then picked me & we left straight to lakeside , bt then we were kinda late in a way already , so i asked her to help me make up in the car , so it will be easier for us to shoot after . then meet JazKhai :) & VinceKhoo the photographers . so we started shooting until about 1230 or so , we went to oldtown whitecoffee to chill . cause the weather was killing us , Then a few more last shots after that , we went to starbucks & bought some drinks then met kenny there as well . while waiting for my daddy to come . After that Julian came when I had to go home , so yeah . Sorry JulianYap ;) they send me off to daddy's car then home . reached home straight remove makeup shower & slept till 7 when mommy just came home with "tapao"food for dinner :D yummy* then thats about it .

let the picha's do the talking : D

JazKhai ;)

JayneScully ;)

a tiring & hectic day .