it hurts.

thinking of what happen today , couldn't be much less painful . my brain couldn't think what's going to happen sooner or later but I just hope and pray that it wouldn't , you don't know how worried I am to lose to her ? you just think you sweet talk me and tell me that everything's going to be alright and I'll be fine ? it's not going to happen , it's not how it works my dear ... I really just hope she would she vanish and wish she had never existed .

sometimes ...

there's so much that's been happening , I really wonder what should I do at times . to believe what I'm supposed to believe or lie to myself that everything's going to be alright ? when in fact it's not going to be alright . thinking how much I'll last with you , planning our future together , our holidays together ... but sometimes it makes me wonder , why does it end up to be this way ? I'm sick of tired that I'm trying so hard , I'm worried he'll just run back to her one day , waiting and hoping for that day to never some seriously I'll pray hard .

iloveyoudear icch <3 you know I've always do ;) now & forever ;)